Eric, one of Monday night’s great listeners, wrote to me recently to ask for advice on what to say to any of the lovely but mysterious foreign ladies he will be meeting on an upcoming Romance tour. Eric wanted to know what topics of conversation would make a positive impression on some of the world’s most intelligent, beautiful and and engaging women, and of course – which should be avoided. As I responded in email to this excellent question I thought this was probably the best subject for my next entry here.
So, imagine if you will, you have crossed the great Atlantic in search of love, joining 25 – 30 or so similarly determined men on an organized romance tour to a great city like St. Petersburg, Odessa, or Kiev. Maybe you headed south the Latin America, maybe east to somewhere in Asia. You gathered together at the hotel lobby on the tours 2nd night, chatting like nervous high-schoolers on the way to a prom. You board the private coach bus, travel downtown to the chosen venue, noticing the growing line of breathtaking ladies waiting to be checked in. As the bus pulls up to the curb and you all get off, you can’t help but blush at all the stares as you walk by the line of ladies on your way in to the social. One man commented to me it was like being on the Red Carpet at the Oscars.
Once inside, you wait nervously as each girl comes in, picks up a name tag, a glass of champagne and walks to a table to wait for someone (insert YOU) to stop by and say hello. It’s important to note – I can’t tell you how many times a lady sits down by herself or with a friend only to spend the entire next couple of hours NOT meeting someone, NOT getting noticed, NOT being approached. Witnessing this kind of thing over and over lead me to write my book, put up this web-site and take a more direct approach to getting you guys on the plane to go abroad and meet these impressive, deserving ladies.
But for those of you who DO go, and find yourselves standing under the same roof with a few hundred of the most exciting girls you have ever seen – how do you even begin to approach them. And once before them – what on earth do you say to make the right impressions and stand the best chance at getting a date with HER?
I would listen to my interviews of foreign women and use that as a model. That should work:
“Thanks for coming to the social, it’s very nice to meet such a lovely girl.”
“I love your city – it’s very interesting. I wish more Americans could see it.”
“When did you join AFA? May I ask what made you decide to do that?”
“You know, a girl like you – so lovely, friendly and obviously intelligent could meet a man in my culture in about 5 minutes – is it hard to meet someone here who wants marriage, family etc?”
“You have a great smile/laugh/ eyes…it/they really stand(s) out…”
“Would you like some champagne?”
“I was very unsure what to think of the whole A Foreign Affair idea – but now that I am here, I am glad I came. I’m glad we got introduced – May I ask you some questions so I could get to know you better?”
“If you could meet someone here tonight – that you were interested enough to see again – what would you like him to be like – what qualities should he have?”
“You’re obviously younger than I am – how do you feel about someone who is older?
“I’m 41 – and I find you very interesting – may I ask your age?”
“Are you sure you’re not married yet? I can’t believe the men of St Petersburg have let you stay single for this long (as you are smiling a friendly smile.”
“You speak English so well – (if she does) – how long have you been studying English? Please… teach me how to say “You are lovely in your language.”
“What do you like to do in your spare time?”
“What is your favorite part of the city?”
“What do you do for work? Is it interesting?”
“Do you like to travel? What places have you visited and liked the most? What is your favorite place to visit here in your country?”
“Tell me about your family. Do they know about your interest in a foreign guy? What do they think about that – do they think it’s kind of a crazy idea?”
“Do you have children?”
“May I ask – would you like to have children or more children someday?”
“What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?”
“Do you know of any ladies who have found their husband this way?”
“I wish I could see Russian/Ukrainian? Colombian etc films or television from the states but of course we are so self-absorbed we don’t see much from other countries. Have you seen any American movies you liked? Do you have a favorite actor or actress?”
“Would you like to dance or take a short walk outside for a little while?”
These are some great comments/questions to get you started. After that, just be yourself BUT avoid hamering the girl like your conducting a job interview. Foreign women do NOT want to be interviewed and qualified at a social. They simply want to be noticed and treated with the utmost respect. Be casual, friendly but not too friendly. Don’t assume anything and DON’T ASK IF THE GIRL IS READY TO PACK HER BAGS AND MOVE TO AMERICA WITH SOMEONE. HER ANSWER IS LIKELY TO BE – “WELL, HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW?” Don’t ask her why she came to the social. You already know why she came to the social – to meet a nice guy like you. She’s not likely to come out and say that until she knows your interest in her is mutual because to do so and then to have you move on to someone else would be alittle humiliating. Just trust she is there for the same reasons you are. Leave her with her self-respect in place. She will appreciate this more than you know.
One more thing, guys – learn how to say something – anything – in her native language and work it in the conversation – she will really like that. You can learn basic Russian phrases, for example, by visiting our web-page:
http://www.foreignbride101.com/russian.html
For more great information on meeting women at socials – please see Chapter 5 in Foreign Bride 101, my book on the foreign bride search.
