I must admit, I’m in a state of shock.
I am stunned to learn that after 13 years of romance tours to Russia – this month will mark the LAST A Foreign Affair departure to St. Petersburg, the city where all Romance Tours began in the mid 90’s. Not only is AFA chopping St. Pete from its 2009 Tour Schedule, but the few competitors out there still doing Romance Tours are following suit. There will be NO organized group Romance Tours to St. Pete- or Russia – in 2009 – by anyone! Wow!! 12 million more women than men and NO ROMANCE TOURS TO MEET THEM!!
Wow!!
That’s not to say the overall Tour Schedule isn’t offering other excellent destinations for finding HER. Give credit to A Foreign Affair for developing other cities in countries where foreign guys are every bit as wanted as in the FSU. An ability to adapt in changing times is what keeps most businesses in the game. In fact, the 2009 AFA Tour Schedule is as diverse as it has ever been and includes established favorites like Odessa, Ukraine, Lima, Peru, Medellin, Colombia and Davao City, Philippines. Those are all terrific places to find an exciting life-partner. But having been to St. Petersburg 5 times, the first of which introduced me to my Victoria in 2001, I’m saddened to see the lack of interest in what has thus far been the largest and most promising city in the foreign bride search. I can’t help but feel a sense of loss for the countless ladies I have met or interviewed from St. Pete recently – whose chances of meeting someone will drop dramatically with no Romance Tours in sight. It’s amazing to think of how just a few years ago I stood in those St. Pete socials, marveling at all the women in attendance, and commenting that after 10 years it amazed me how many women still came to this process.
So, what happened? How did St. Pete – once the defacto king of Romance Tour destinations for all major International Marriage Agencies – become relegated to the role of least desirable location? More importantly, how did this happen in a matter of just a few recent years? And why is looking at Russia’s loss of popularity on the foreign bride front even significant when there are so many other great places to realize the dream of finding foreign love? I think popular misconceptions around St. Pete – as summarized in foreign bride forums all over the internet – could eventually happen to any city on any Romance Tour schedule. I think it’s important to point them out, those misunderstandings, and bring respectability back to the “Venice of the North” for the sake of all those lonely foreign ladies still waiting for YOU to come and find them. What happened to St. Petersburg speaks to the practices and priorities of many International Marriage Agencies – and we as consumers should be aware. So, allow me…
I could write that the cost of a Russian visa – nearly $250 – is a deterrent for most guys already shelling out an average of $4000 in Romance Tour fees. I am sure that has been a minor reason men have turned more toward countries like Ukraine, where no visa for travel is required of Americans. I could say the recent conflict in Georgia and related bad press events have soured most men’s impressions of Russia overall. Certainly, the development of foreign bride related enterprises in Latin America and Asia have drawn some of the crowd away from the FSU, especially Latin America where tour costs might be a third less than Russia. I could give credit to the many men who have returned from Russia without a 21 year old Victoria’s Secret wannabe in tow – men who have written from here to kingdom come that St. Pete has hosted too many tours and is now sufficiently “picked-over.” (This is a joke, of course – it’s virtually impossible to “pick over” any large city in the foreign bride search. Add up all the profiles of all agencies for women in St. Pete and you wouldn’t even have 1% of the population!) Probably all of these have contributed somewhat to St. Pete’s dwindling reputation.
But take a look at what’s happened in the Odessa, Ukraine region in the past few years. IMA’s are receiving more and more profiles from scantily clad young girls – really beautiful and really young girls – and not just from Odessa but the southern part of Ukraine in general, Mariupol, Kherson, Nikolaev etc. God knows, the FSU is bursting at the seams with millions of such irresistible girls. During all my years of counseling men in the foreign bride search, I have seen countless guys find, court, date, fall in love with and file a fiancée visa for these “crème de la crèmes” only to be disappointed in the end when girls changed their minds and didn’t come. The younger and more revealing the girl and her profile, the less likely she was to follow through on relocation in the end, it seemed. Yet hundreds of men whose focus led them to late 20-something or 30-something ladies whose profiles featured less revealing pictures were able to complete the process with a happy bride in the end. So, where do hundreds of scantily clad profiles of model-type girls come from? From modeling agencies, of course.
For some reason the vast majority of model wannabe profiles have come from Ukraine, not Russia, stoking red hot attention for cities like Odessa while gradually drying out focus on Russia overall. Guys read all the pertinent generalizations about foreign women struggling to meet family-oriented men and we apply that info ONLY to the most perfect ladies profiles. I get emails every week from men asking why the girl they are writing to or calling isn’t writing or calling back. I take a look at her profile and sure enough … I then write back and say “Sorry, friend, but honestly she’s probably buried in emails from the hundreds of men who ONLY write to the model wannabes. Try someone who’s trying to find a husband not trying to land a swimsuit gig.” And then I remember all the women in Russia who are upset with me after doing live interviews where no one out of 50 guys listening and participating wrote to them afterwards. I must admit – I am at a loss to explain that. MEN LOVE FANTASY!!!!!
12 million more women than men – think about the implications of that, guys! Considering the whole foreign bride phenomenon started in Russia in the mid 90’s – and is now dwindling down to smoke and ashes – could it be that Russian women have caught on to the fantasy marketing practices of most IMA’s and have little faith their efforts to find a sincere foreign man will come to fruition? Could the good women of Ukraine become one day as skeptical as that, leaving only the most unreliable ladies profiles for men to pursue? Of course, we’ll probably never know unless we one day discover that there are no more tours to Ukraine and the emphasis moves to Latin America or Asia. It would be easy to blame the agencies for providing us with all the misleading eye-candy to begin with, thus turning our attention away from those ladies more likely to be accessible to us, but the agencies will typically provide what their male clients are asking for – and too many guys have only perfection in mind when seeking a foreign bride – which is why too many guys fail and too many wonderful ladies go undiscovered every year. Time for a healthy, productive reality check, boys. I have met too many truly lovely, down-to-earth ladies who can barely get ANY guy to write to them. If we are serious about coming out of this with a positive result – serious about finding HER – we can’t afford to overlook the most reliable profiles that give us the best chance in finding that rare, life-defining love.
I know of a previous 40-something AFA tour client – I’ll call him Dave – who’s first Romance Tour to Ukraine was years ago and who still visits Ukraine several times a year in search of the young model wannabe. Dave recently lamented his inability to get any of the younger girls in bed with him despite all those trips and all that lavish gift-giving. “I keep running into the ‘I’m saving myself for marriage’ excuse,” he said. I asked him to consider meeting someone a little older and more mature – like say – 30?!! And I suggested Russia over Ukraine just because I know there are many, MANY wonderful, serious 30-something single ladies there. “No, I like coming to Ukraine. The girls here are more desperate.” I laughed at this. The girls in Ukraine are more desperate – but apparently not desperate enough to sleep with Dave. Yet Dave is just one of many guys who go trekking off to Ukraine each year in search of model wannabes – spending thousands to find that elusive desperate young girl when a real and loving life-partner could have been standing right in front of them countess times.
We need to do a better job at promoting the 25 and over ladies of Ukraine. And we need to make sure we haven’t heard the last of similar women from Russia. I personally will see to that. I know all too well what waits for you nice guys out there.
