Comments for foreignbride101.com Blog http://foreignbride101.com/blog Candid, practical advice for those seeking a foreign bride. Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:39:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 Comment on A “Dear John Letter” You Won’t Soon Forget by John Bryant http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/13/a-dear-john-letter-you-wont-soon-forget/comment-page-1/#comment-218 John Bryant Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:39:54 +0000 http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/13/a-dear-john-letter-you-wont-soon-forget/#comment-218 Bud, Thank you for the reminder of what it is that I'm envisioning when I get to Ukraine. I have tried the online dating thing with American women with minimal success at best. It is so odd (sadly) to see a letter written with proper form. To see a woman who puts the person's name who is the subject of the letter and her name at the bottom has become a rarity amongst women in this country. Moreover, it is further reassuring to see a woman who can write about herself without making herself her favorite subject matter. She is clearly trying to simply establish herself without acting like she deserves a prize for her life so far as is another problem with women in this country. Thank you for helping me regain focus. John Bud,

Thank you for the reminder of what it is that I’m envisioning when I get to Ukraine. I have tried the online dating thing with American women with minimal success at best. It is so odd (sadly) to see a letter written with proper form. To see a woman who puts the person’s name who is the subject of the letter and her name at the bottom has become a rarity amongst women in this country. Moreover, it is further reassuring to see a woman who can write about herself without making herself her favorite subject matter. She is clearly trying to simply establish herself without acting like she deserves a prize for her life so far as is another problem with women in this country. Thank you for helping me regain focus.

John

]]> Comment on Will She Become “Americanized?” by Kevin http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/12/03/will-she-become-americanized/comment-page-1/#comment-215 Kevin Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:50:22 +0000 http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/12/03/will-she-become-americanized/#comment-215 I want to add a few more comments to my initial question on this topic. I asked this question not just for myself, but for all the guys who needed to hear it as well, and I am glad Bud was kind enough to turn it into a post. I think one thing us guys tend to do in this process is that we have this attitude and position of being the "knightly princes going to save his princess from her horrible life." But in reality, that attitude does more harm than good. The truth is, most of these ladies that come searching for a foreign man are not looking for someone to save them. These women are strong enough to handle life's challenges and can do very well for themselves. All they lack is that loving, faithful man to share their life with. Which, if we guys are honest with ourselves, is EXACTLY what we are doing as well! In fact, if a foreign woman IS looking for a man to save her from her life, then I would start raising that red flag. These women do not NEED to be SAVED; they WANT to be LOVED. I think it is important to put ourselves in their shoes (which can be quite difficult if we have never taken a step in their country). When we see things from their perspective, we begin to understand that their situation is not too dissimilar from our own, at least as far as relationships go. Imagine for a second that you are going to relocate to her country instead of the other way around. Now you have to learn her language just to survive, let alone have a good job. You are surrounded by many foreign women now, who seem more than happy to help you adjust to your new surroundings. But you still are not a citizen yet, and that is solely dependent on your marriage to your wife. After all, she is the reason you are there in the first place. Would you throw away all you have worked for just to have a few flings with some women who remind you of the ones you left behind? Would you really do that to the woman whom you have sacrificed so much for? If you have any moral bone in your body, then you already know the answer.... It is the same for your wife. She will ADAPT to her new surroundings, but she will not SUCCUMB to them. Unless human beings are no better than monkeys, we can let morality guide us rather than instinct. Like Bud said, we will socialize with people more similar to us than different. And I like how Bud points out the irony of American women. They are incapable of handling the competition, so they feel the need to bring foreign women down to their level. Foreign women are too classy and dignified to engage, let alone start, such "cat-fighting." As long as we prove to be the faithful, loving, strong men that these women deserve, then there is nothing we need to worry about! Foreign women want to love us as much as we want to love them. I want to add a few more comments to my initial question on this topic. I asked this question not just for myself, but for all the guys who needed to hear it as well, and I am glad Bud was kind enough to turn it into a post.
I think one thing us guys tend to do in this process is that we have this attitude and position of being the “knightly princes going to save his princess from her horrible life.” But in reality, that attitude does more harm than good. The truth is, most of these ladies that come searching for a foreign man are not looking for someone to save them. These women are strong enough to handle life’s challenges and can do very well for themselves. All they lack is that loving, faithful man to share their life with. Which, if we guys are honest with ourselves, is EXACTLY what we are doing as well! In fact, if a foreign woman IS looking for a man to save her from her life, then I would start raising that red flag. These women do not NEED to be SAVED; they WANT to be LOVED.
I think it is important to put ourselves in their shoes (which can be quite difficult if we have never taken a step in their country). When we see things from their perspective, we begin to understand that their situation is not too dissimilar from our own, at least as far as relationships go. Imagine for a second that you are going to relocate to her country instead of the other way around. Now you have to learn her language just to survive, let alone have a good job. You are surrounded by many foreign women now, who seem more than happy to help you adjust to your new surroundings. But you still are not a citizen yet, and that is solely dependent on your marriage to your wife. After all, she is the reason you are there in the first place. Would you throw away all you have worked for just to have a few flings with some women who remind you of the ones you left behind? Would you really do that to the woman whom you have sacrificed so much for? If you have any moral bone in your body, then you already know the answer….
It is the same for your wife. She will ADAPT to her new surroundings, but she will not SUCCUMB to them. Unless human beings are no better than monkeys, we can let morality guide us rather than instinct. Like Bud said, we will socialize with people more similar to us than different. And I like how Bud points out the irony of American women. They are incapable of handling the competition, so they feel the need to bring foreign women down to their level. Foreign women are too classy and dignified to engage, let alone start, such “cat-fighting.” As long as we prove to be the faithful, loving, strong men that these women deserve, then there is nothing we need to worry about! Foreign women want to love us as much as we want to love them.

]]> Comment on Russian Women Want Us Back by Administrator http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/comment-page-1/#comment-214 Administrator Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:02:37 +0000 http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/#comment-214 GREAT COMMENTS, KEVIN!! MAN - I THINK I'M ACTUALLY GETTING THROUGH TO SOME OF YOU GUYS OUT THERE, LOL! KEVIN IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT - THERE ARE SO MANY LADIES WHO GET VIRTUALLY NO RESPONSE AT ALL FOR THEIR EFFORTS TO MEET A FOREIGN GUY. REMEMBER THE REDHEAD VICTORIA FROM ST PETE WHO WAS HOT ENOUGH TO BE ON THE COVER OF OUR QUARTERLY CATALOG AND GOT LETTERS FROM 300 GUYS BUT NOONE GOT ON THE PLANE TO GO AND SEE HER? I DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP, GUYS. I AM GOING TO DO MORE HERE WITH THIS SITE AND OUR MONDAY NIGHT CALLS TO HELP YOU GUYS FIND THE MOST SINCERE AND AVAILABLE LADIES - SO BE SURE TO STAY TUNED. KEV - THANKS AGAIN, MAN! GREAT COMMENTS, KEVIN!! MAN – I THINK I’M ACTUALLY GETTING THROUGH TO SOME OF YOU GUYS OUT THERE, LOL! KEVIN IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT – THERE ARE SO MANY LADIES WHO GET VIRTUALLY NO RESPONSE AT ALL FOR THEIR EFFORTS TO MEET A FOREIGN GUY. REMEMBER THE REDHEAD VICTORIA FROM ST PETE WHO WAS HOT ENOUGH TO BE ON THE COVER OF OUR QUARTERLY CATALOG AND GOT LETTERS FROM 300 GUYS BUT NOONE GOT ON THE PLANE TO GO AND SEE HER? I DIDN’T MAKE THAT UP, GUYS. I AM GOING TO DO MORE HERE WITH THIS SITE AND OUR MONDAY NIGHT CALLS TO HELP YOU GUYS FIND THE MOST SINCERE AND AVAILABLE LADIES – SO BE SURE TO STAY TUNED. KEV – THANKS AGAIN, MAN!

]]> Comment on Russian Women Want Us Back by Kevin http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/comment-page-1/#comment-213 Kevin Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:02:22 +0000 http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/#comment-213 I saw that you have no comments on any of your blogs, so I will be the first to add one! Now, you know that I am younger than most in this process, so naturally my age range is going to be slightly lower than others. However, I agree that the "fantasy bug" has bitten many, including myself, in this search. Yes, I am still looking towards the Odessa tour, but at least I understand how to spot a profile that is less than sincere. But at the same time, it was Mother Russia herself that first got me into this in the first place, so I cannot forget where I started. I really do hope that Russia regains its prominence in the foreign bride search. It is where most of us start looking for the most part, so we owe it something for that. Perhaps a year off from tours so that the AFA staff can refocus its mission in Russia would do some good. I agree with your statements regarding the decline of the Russian bride search, but let me add one comment to that. You are right that there are MANY good traditional Russian women looking for good husbands. But from what I have heard, not all these women consider marrying foreign an option. And out of those that do, only a certain amount use a marriage agency to do it. And out of THOSE women, many will only get letters from prospective men and never actually meet this man in person. My point is that only a small amount of these eligible Russian women will ever MEET the man of their dreams, let alone MARRY him. And with so many scams out there, it is easy to get discouraged by bad experiences. That is why it is so crucial to have honest, sincere men AND women come to this process. And why we need to be better judges of people's intentions. And most importantly, why we need to physically see and meet these people in person. It is not usually enough to just see a picture, read an email, or even hear a voice; their world is so different from ours that we need that "culture shock" to really hit home to fully understand the situation. This situation exists for a reason, and we would do well to at least be open to it. Having said all that, I am not discouraging travel to Ukraine or other countries. There are good and bad people everywhere, and everyone has different things they are looking for. But we all need to be more realistic and honest with ourselves first. This great opportunity will not last forever! But everyone needs to do their part to make this a rewarding experience for all involved. I saw that you have no comments on any of your blogs, so I will be the first to add one!
Now, you know that I am younger than most in this process, so naturally my age range is going to be slightly lower than others. However, I agree that the “fantasy bug” has bitten many, including myself, in this search. Yes, I am still looking towards the Odessa tour, but at least I understand how to spot a profile that is less than sincere. But at the same time, it was Mother Russia herself that first got me into this in the first place, so I cannot forget where I started.
I really do hope that Russia regains its prominence in the foreign bride search. It is where most of us start looking for the most part, so we owe it something for that. Perhaps a year off from tours so that the AFA staff can refocus its mission in Russia would do some good. I agree with your statements regarding the decline of the Russian bride search, but let me add one comment to that.
You are right that there are MANY good traditional Russian women looking for good husbands. But from what I have heard, not all these women consider marrying foreign an option. And out of those that do, only a certain amount use a marriage agency to do it. And out of THOSE women, many will only get letters from prospective men and never actually meet this man in person. My point is that only a small amount of these eligible Russian women will ever MEET the man of their dreams, let alone MARRY him. And with so many scams out there, it is easy to get discouraged by bad experiences.
That is why it is so crucial to have honest, sincere men AND women come to this process. And why we need to be better judges of people’s intentions. And most importantly, why we need to physically see and meet these people in person. It is not usually enough to just see a picture, read an email, or even hear a voice; their world is so different from ours that we need that “culture shock” to really hit home to fully understand the situation. This situation exists for a reason, and we would do well to at least be open to it.
Having said all that, I am not discouraging travel to Ukraine or other countries. There are good and bad people everywhere, and everyone has different things they are looking for. But we all need to be more realistic and honest with ourselves first. This great opportunity will not last forever! But everyone needs to do their part to make this a rewarding experience for all involved.

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