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		<title>Culture Lesson Number Two</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/02/22/culture-lesson-number-two/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/02/22/culture-lesson-number-two/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Feb 2009 02:09:35 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Guys,
 It is very important that we not take for granted our obligation to at least learn something about the world of the women we hope to pursue in the foreign bride search &#8211; again, this pays great dividends later on when we meet someone we want to impress.  Ugly Americans, who believe the world revolves [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Guys,</p>
<p> It is very important that we not take for granted our obligation to at least learn something about the world of the women we hope to pursue in the foreign bride search &#8211; again, this pays great dividends later on when we meet someone we want to impress.  Ugly Americans, who believe the world revolves around them and nothing else is of interest or importance &#8211; are not attractive.  Gracious Americans who humbly appreciate the vast opportunities to hear international music, read international writings and observe international art, culture and people &#8211; are attractive.  That&#8217;s us, right?  Hopefully you enjoyed hearing the music and seeing the videos below &#8211; here is another dose of cool Russian/Ukrainian stuff you might find interesting.  Familiarize yourself with these as much as possible &#8211; it will help you to make great conversation with a gorgeous foreign girl later on.  This is some great stuff for the Rusophile in all of us:</p>
<p>Russian Writers:</p>
<p>Boris Pasternak: 1890 &#8211; 1960.  Wrote Dr. Zhivago, which won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1958.  Read more about his life and works here: </p>
<p><a title="Boris Pasternak" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Pasternak" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Pasternak</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/364" target="_blank">http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/364</a></p>
<p>Pasternak wrote hopeful, wistful poetry.  Here&#8217;s a great sample&#8230;</p>
<p>Winter Night</p>
<p>It swept, it swept on all the earth,<br />
At every turning,<br />
A  candle on the table flared,<br />
A  candle, burning.</p>
<p>Like swarms of midges to a flame<br />
In summer weather,<br />
Snowflakes flew up towards the pane<br />
In flocks together.</p>
<p>Snow  moulded arrows, rings and stars<br />
The pane adorning.<br />
A candle on the table shone<br />
A candle, burning.</p>
<p>Entangled shadows spread across<br />
The flickering ceiling,<br />
Entangled arms, entangled legs,<br />
And  doom, and feeling.</p>
<p>And  with a thud against the floor<br />
Two  shoes came falling,<br />
And  drops of molten candle wax<br />
Like tears were rolling.</p>
<p>And  all was lost in snowy mist,<br />
Grey-white and blurring.<br />
A candle on the table stood,<br />
A candle, burning.</p>
<p>The flame was trembling in the draught;<br />
Heat of temptation,<br />
It lifted up two crossing wings<br />
As of an angel.</p>
<p>All February the snow-storm swept,<br />
Each time returning.<br />
A candle on the table wept,<br />
A candle, burning.</p>
<p><em>1946<br />
Translated by Lydia Pasternak Slater</em> </p>
<p>Alexander Pushkin: 1799 &#8211; 1837.  Great poet (really he was THE Russian poet) whose works insipred Glinka&#8217;s &#8220;Ruslan and Lyudmilla,&#8221; Tchaikovsky&#8217;s &#8220;Eugene Onegin&#8221; and Mussorgsky&#8217;s &#8220;Boris Gudanov&#8221;. (Operas.)  Pushkin was Russia&#8217;s beloved, famous poet -and Russian children today still learn his works in grade school.  He lived a rather extravagant life of women, gambling and bad habits and died from wounds suffered in a duel with a man believed at the time to be having an affair with his wife.  Read more about Pushkin here:</p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pushkin" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pushkin</a></p>
<p><a href="http://alexanderpushkin.com/" target="_blank">http://alexanderpushkin.com/</a></p>
<p>I Loved You Once</p>
<p>I loved you once, and still, perhaps, love’s yearning<br />
Within my soul has not quite burned away.<br />
But may it nevermore you be concerning;<br />
I would not wish you sad in any way.<br />
My love for you was wordless, hopeless cruelly,<br />
Drowned now in shyness, now in jealousy,<br />
And I loved you so tenderly, so truly,<br />
As God grant by another you may be.<br />
Anton Chekov: 1860 &#8211; 1904. Considered to be a one of world literature&#8217;s best short story writers, was also a playwright and physician.  Chekov influenced many writers of his time.  My two favorite Chekov pieces are the short story &#8220;Lady With a Lapdog&#8221; and the short play called &#8220;Swansong.&#8221; </p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_Chekov" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_Chekov</a></p>
<p>Here is a great, short YouTube documentary about Chekov.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY6ltI1n5Lo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY6ltI1n5Lo</a></p>
<p>Mikhail Bulgakov:  1891 &#8211; 1940.  Wrote the amazing &#8220;Master and Margarita,&#8221; a novel satirizing Communism and the paranoia, secrecy and censorship of Soviet Russia.  This is a remarkable book which has been made into at least two movies filled with haunting, impressive imagery.  Everyone in Russia has read this book.  See the clip below &#8211; then watch the rest of the movie.  It begins with a conversation between Margarita and Satan.  (What?)  This movie has an amazing soundtrack btw&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbHPBsU18CA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbHPBsU18CA</a></p>
<p>Anna Politkovskaya: 1958 &#8211; 2006.  A journalist who chronicled Russian atrocities in the war against Chechnya.  A fierce critic of Vladimir Putin and various Russian military leaders, Politkovskaya endured torture, death threats and substantial harassment for most of her professional career.  She was murdered in her apartment building on Putin&#8217;s 48th birthday. Her death received an international outcry and more than 1000 colleagues and admirers attended her funeral on October 10, 2006 in Moscow.  See&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Politkovskaya" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Politkovskaya</a></p>
<p> I would highly recommend reading her book, &#8220;Putin&#8217;s Russia&#8221; in which she laments the treatment of innocents in the Chechnyan war, the forced labor of military conscripts (draftees) and the murder of a Chechnyan girl at the hands of a Russian Colonel named Budanov.  It&#8217;s worth a note &#8211; both a Russian journalist and a young photographer were murdered this month in Moscow at a rally to prevent Colonel Budanov from early release from prison.  Also, as you may have read &#8211; 3 men accused of having a part in Politkovskaya&#8217;s murder were acquitted by a jury this week.</p>
<p>Most Russian people feel very strong support for Putin, whose presidency resulted in a much higher standard of living for many Russians, and restored national pride to its highest level in decades.  So I am not sure Politkovskaya&#8217;s life and death would make good dinner conversation &#8211; but a learned man in this process would nonetheless at least be familiar with her writings.</p>
<p>These are all but a drop in the bucket of great Russian literary figures &#8211; and that is even an understatement &#8211; but again, the goal here is to help you get basically familiar with a few past and present influences on Russian/Ukrainian culture.  Hope this is interesting for you, boys.  I promise that for you to commit some of these to memory will make an excellent impression on any ladies you&#8217;ll ultimately meet when you finally get on the plane and go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><script language="javascript">geovisit();</script><noscript /></p>
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		<title>Time For A Culture Lesson</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/02/09/time-for-a-culture-lesson/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/02/09/time-for-a-culture-lesson/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:30:02 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Wow &#8211; has it really been three weeks since my last blog?!  Sorry, guys.  We did the Open House in January, plus I just started my new job &#8211; and it&#8217;s been a little hectic &#8211; but here we go.  I have a new theme which should provide lots of good stuff for a few [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Wow &#8211; has it really been three weeks since my last blog?!  Sorry, guys.  We did the Open House in January, plus I just started my new job &#8211; and it&#8217;s been a little hectic &#8211; but here we go.  I have a new theme which should provide lots of good stuff for a few weeks.</p>
<p>It occured to me recently that most of us guys are making plans to head to Russia or Ukraine with no real exposure to Russian culture &#8211; after all, where would we go in the USA to find real Russian, Ukrainian anything &#8211; unless you&#8217;re lucky enough to know a good international market, restaurant or Eastern Orthodox church.  (As my good friends Kevin and John did in their Cincinnati suburb.)  When you guys touch down half way around the world you will be instantly overexposed to lots of great food, music, art, architecture and yes &#8211; women! Some of the world&#8217;s most beautiful ladies will be walking around on every street.  As you meet them at romance tour socials, or individually arranged dates, you will want to show your respect and true interest in their lives by familiarizing yourself with the kinds of things they experience on a daily basis.  Nothing will unimpress these ladies on a first date so much as a one way conversation that&#8217;s all about you.  So I&#8217;m going to use these next few blogs to present some interesting pieces of Russian/Ukrainian life and culture.  I&#8217;ll try to make this as interesting as possible for you, ok?  The idea is when your girl eventually asks you if you know any Russian/Ukrainian music, art, books, history etc &#8211; you can perk right up with a mighty &#8220;YES!&#8221; and show your true appreciation for HER.  Women of the FSU believe that men who go to Russia/Ukraine have a higher than typical interest in their world &#8211; they find this quality attractive and you wouldn&#8217;t want to disappoint them &#8211; right?  So sit back and enjoy some cool stuff &#8211; courtesy of a little YouTube action &#8211; and more.</p>
<p>Today I am posting a few music video links from some of Russia / Ukraine&#8217;s most popular musical acts.  You obviously won&#8217;t know the words &#8211; though some are in English &#8211; but you will get at least some exposure to the music your girl listens to.  I find this stuff very addicting &#8211; so watch out.  Most of these are Russian MTV videos &#8211; yes that&#8217;s right &#8211; they have MTV in Russia too and get this &#8211; they actually show music videos.  Yea, I know &#8211; ain&#8217;t that a kick in the pants. Here&#8217;s another possible value to knowing these songs and artists &#8211; you&#8217;ll no doubt experience some of this music at the socials, so you can guage each songs danceability for future reference!</p>
<p>I will warn you now &#8211; some of these are a little risque &#8211; these are European women after all.  Of course each video gives you the chance to scroll through some others so &#8211; Enjoy!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>ARTIST: Valerya</p>
<p>SONGS: Break It All, Chasiki (Live), Flowers</p>
<p>Valerya is a very popular singer in Russia and has spoken out publically at the UN against human trafficking that occurs in the FSU.  She was married for 10 years to a very abusive spouse but rose above to an amazing plave in Russian culture.</p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"><u><font color="#810081"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dsG6NVmqNI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dsG6NVmqNI</a></font></u></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><a title="Chasiki" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgOhnrPgL2Y" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgOhnrPgL2Y</a></font><font size="3"> </font></font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri"> </font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /></font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" /></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri" color="#810081"><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Flowers" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKFbNrbEXG0"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKFbNrbEXG0</font></a> </p>
<p><font color="#000000" size="3"><font color="#000000" size="3"><font color="#000000" size="3"><font color="#000000" size="3" /><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000" /></font></font></font><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000" /></font></font></font></font></font></font><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"><font color="#000000"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3">ARTIST: Leonid Augutin (and Vladimir Presnyakov on Airports) </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3">SONGS: Airports, If I Get The Chance</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3">Way cool dude &#8211; great voice.  There&#8217;s a story behind the &#8220;Aiports&#8221; song related somehow to the whole world terrorism theme.  &#8221;If I Get The Chance&#8221; is just a very lovely song.  </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Airports" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMcMPZwkGkc" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMcMPZwkGkc</font></a><a target="_blank" /></p>
<p><a title="If I Get The Chance" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5X3pPpy1dE" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5X3pPpy1dE</font></a><font size="3">  </font></p>
<p><font size="3">ARTIST: VIAGRA</font></p>
<p><font size="3">SONGS: Potselui (I Kiss You,) and &#8220;It&#8217;s Raining Men&#8221; with Geri Halliwell, former Spice Girl</font></p>
<p><font size="3">Yes, there is a Russian female group called VIAGRA.  (Can&#8217;t imagine how they chose the name.)Excellent chance you&#8217;ll be dancing to &#8221;It&#8217;s Raining Men&#8221; at the socials!  FSU girls seem to really like it!</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Potselui" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtXNmA8rU24" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtXNmA8rU24</font></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="It's Raining Men" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1KgA2vznhc" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1KgA2vznhc</font></a></p>
<p><font size="3">ARTIST: REFLEX</font></p>
<p></font><font size="3">SONG: Lyublyu </font></p>
<p><font size="3">If I am not mistaken, one of these girls is over 40.  Unbelievable&#8230; again, this is a little spicey so please skip it if your views are conservative.  Reflex is one of Russia&#8217;s top female acts.</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Lyublyu" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rhkmCh_NPk" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rhkmCh_NPk</font></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">ARTIST: NON-STOP</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">Song: Ya Na Vsye Soglasnya (I Will Do Whatever You Want)</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">Well, not much I could add to that&#8230;</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56l3czQ25eU" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56l3czQ25eU</font></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">ARTIST:  </font><font size="3">Masha Rasputina</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">SONG:  Mosti </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">Masha has been around for years as a mainstay in Russian pop music.  This woman has an amazing voice!  </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Mosti" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxQ0rqGJpx8" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxQ0rqGJpx8</font></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">ARTIST: Fillip Kirkorov</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">SONGS:  Roza Chainaya, Newer version of Roza Chanaiya Duet With Masha Rasputina</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Fillip is also a true icon in Russian music.  I love his voice&#8230;</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3"><a title="Roza Chainaya" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk23MQfi5MI" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk23MQfi5MI</a></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><a title="Roza Chainaya" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBt_RdD2Tfk" target="_blank"><font size="3">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBt_RdD2Tfk</font></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">ARTIST: Yulia Savicheva</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3">SONGS: Forgive For Love, (Vsyoko) So High</font></p>
<p></font></font></font></font><font size="3">This girl began her career very young and has an incredible voice for her age &#8211; very powerful.  Somehow she finds alot of songs with very poetic lyrics.  The first song, Forgive for Love says &#8221; Listen, you were right.  Listen to me now, it&#8217;s not painful.  My heart without you beats more softly.  Listen, to what is left, listen to what was before and the silence will tell you that I loved you.&#8221;</font></p>
<p><font size="3">The next song shows you the lyrics in English.  Good stuff&#8230;</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font size="3"><a title="Forgive, For Love" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTWNH7UHhzQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTWNH7UHhzQ</a></font></p>
<p></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3"><a title="Vsyoko" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxBltR6Jt0Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxBltR6Jt0Q</a></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><font color="#000000" size="3">Well, there you are &#8211; as I mentioned above if you tap into these you&#8217;ll see some great videos on the sides to scroll through.  I hope you take the time to familiarize yourself with these artists, this music and more.  Believe me, it will serve you well later on.  This is just the tip of the iceberg &#8211; there&#8217;s much more to come in upcoming blogs.  Turn down the lights, grab a glass of wine, imagine as you listen your lovely Russian/Ukrainian girl and you dancing a slow dance&#8230;</font></p>
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		<title>A &#8220;Dear John Letter&#8221; You Won&#8217;t Soon Forget</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/13/a-dear-john-letter-you-wont-soon-forget/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/13/a-dear-john-letter-you-wont-soon-forget/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:32:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Correspondence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Live Calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/13/a-dear-john-letter-you-wont-soon-forget/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I have to share this with you guys.
 
Quite often, while conducting my work for couples in the foreign bride experience, I run across something so simple yet so humbling and impressive it causes me to stop whatever I am in the middle of and reflect on why I love being the international love guru I [...]]]></description>
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<p>I have to share this with you guys.</p>
<p> <br />
Quite often, while conducting my work for couples in the foreign bride experience, I run across something so simple yet so humbling and impressive it causes me to stop whatever I am in the middle of and reflect on why I love being the international love guru I am.  Seriously – I had such a moment this past week – in the form of a “Dear John” letter. </p>
<p> <br />
Viktoria and I are working with a client; I’ll call him John – a handsome, super nice 50-something Dental Surgeon from the Midwest.  John has committed to traveling abroad soon in search of his life-partner and has his eye on the women of the FSU (Former Soviet Union.)  Viktoria and I have met with John to conduct a formal interview and shoot a video and questionnaire which is now being circled around the globe on his behalf.  The affiliate agencies abroad receive his bio, photos, video, etc and write back to us with ladies profile numbers who might be interested in corresponding with our client.  We notify him of who has their eye on him and invite him to write any or all of them. For more information about A Foreign Affair’s Executive Global Match Service – go here:</p>
<p> <br />
<a href="http://www.executiveglobalmatch.com/">http://www.executiveglobalmatch.com/</a></p>
<p> <br />
John was a little nervous about what exactly to write in a first letter to a foreign lady, having not done that before.  I gave him a few pointers and he sent over this letter, for a lovely 30-something lady (I’ll name her Anna) from Kharkov, Ukraine.  This is a great example of how to write a perfect first letter which is sincere and attention-grabbing but not too overbearing in what it asks of the lady recipient.  I am including it here to show all you guys who want to correspond with ladies one possible format to use.</p>
<p> <br />
<span />Hello Dear Anna:</p>
<p> <br />
Thank you for your letter and interest in my profile!  I am very happy to be writing you and hope we can correspond and possibly talk in the near future.   I liked your profile and pictures very much.  You have a terrific smile and lovely eyes.  Obviously, you live a healthy, active lifestyle.  Thank you for including those pictures that are in your profile.  They are great!  It seems impossible to look at them and not feel your happiness. I like what you wrote about treating people with kindness, as I think this is a very important quality.  I do not like angry or aggressive people.  Family and friends are very important and should be treated with respect at all times.  I can&#8217;t wait to have my own wife and children to love and be proud of every day.</p>
<p> <br />
I see that you are a designer and that you like to sew.  It&#8217;s very interesting!  I can imagine that you sew very nicely.  What do you like to sew?  As you probably know, I am in the medical profession. I work with patients every day who are under stress and need a calm, strong and capable person to help them. I find it rather incredible that someone as attractive as you could somehow be single and available anywhere in the world but I am glad you joined the agency.  I live in a great city in a nice neighborhood in Ohio.  I live alone in a cozy house that allows me time to relax after a busy day. I decided recently to try to find my life-partner and soul-mate through an agency like this because I have just not been able for some reason to find her here.  I work very hard and it has not been easy for me to meet someone who is kind, happy, soft, understanding and family-oriented as I am.  I have a wonderful mom and sister but so far I have never been married nor have I any children.  I am happy, I love life and all of God&#8217;s blessings and feel I would be a good husband and father.  I am gentle, soft-spoken, tender and very slow to anger and like you, I enjoy an active, healthy lifestyle.  I enjoy quiet times at home reading a good book but I also enjoy jogging, canoeing or biking in the park.   I understand your city is also very interesting.  I think it would be great to visit Ukraine someday.  I want to say that I am serious about my intentions to find someone and would certainly travel abroad in the future when the time comes.  What do you like to do in your city?  Are you from Kharkov originally?</p>
<p> <br />
Again, Anna, thank you for reading my letter.  I hope you see something here you like and will write me back.  I would be happy to hear from you and to know more about you!</p>
<p> <br />
Sincerely, <br />
John</p>
<p> <br />
<span />Great first letter – and my Viktoria translated and sent it off to Anna.  Less than 48 hours later – he got this GREAT reply.  As you read below, take notice of her careful wording, her calm confidence, her sincere interest in him and the specific things he wrote to her.  It is so hard to describe to men the creative, romantic, poetic way Russian and Ukrainian women express themselves.  It’s incredibly charming and the product of a society that values art, culture, expression and love!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>John,</p>
<p> <br />
Thank you for the letter! I could sense much warmth in it. It was as if I heard your voice, its rich and soft timbre.  I am glad that my pictures managed to reflect my inner state. I really try to be and feel happy. The formula of happiness is really simple for me. I believe you will agree with me. I am happy because me and my closest people are alive and healthy. I am happy since I can rejoice at simple things that surround us and find the mighty divine wisdom in them. With the help of my work I can bring positive emotions to people. I try to stick to the rule: &#8220;Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself&#8221;. I have good friends, whose friendship is time-tested.  I simply try to be a good person and live in harmony with myself and people around me. But I don&#8217;t have my own family. To be more precise (if to talk about my past) I had a wonderful, genius, kind man by my side. He was my faithful friend, my husband. He has not been with us for already ten years. I am a widow. That was a great tragedy. It took me great moral strength and much work at myself to overcome that tragedy. But I am thankful to God and destiny for those wonderful four years that I spent with my husband.  The terrible ordeal that I underwent made me stronger and I know that the real value is the faithful friend around and family. Human life if the most valuable gift of God and it can be so fragile and only people who love each other can support each other. I am an idealist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You are surprised. You wonder how an attractive woman like me can still be alone. Actually I can say that it is incredible for me as well. But I think you will agree with me that to find the soul mate is a very desirable gift so it is very important to be able to wait. This can last for months and even years but once this happens, one will understand that everything has happen in the right time. 10 years of loneliness. Out of those 10 &#8211; 3 years of sorrow, pain and anxiety.  And then simply life. The absence of the soul mate by my side I try to indemnify by communication with friends. I am a sociable and friendly person.<br />
 Another way of compensation is work. I work much. Besides, John, I am your colleague. I graduated from the medical college, I am a nurse. That is why I combine the work of a fashion designer and nurse. I do the night watch in the cardiology centre. When I help people I get the spiritual satisfaction. When I make clothes I bring esthetical pleasure to the client. That is why I can say that I am content with my life and I am happy with it. But all this is the indemnity of the beloved person. Because you know, only in the family one can realize his/her personality, his/her ability to respect, compassionate, sacrifice, forgive, submit. And for me it is most important to remain faithful and devoted. I am family-oriented. The person who is successful in family is successful in all other life spheres. That is why I can&#8217;t say that I am totally successful. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>While being alone I graduated from the Department of Practical Psychology. However I have not yet considered realizing myself in this field. I have two wonderful nephews and take part in their education. I discuss their problems with them and I am very glad that they ask me for a piece of advice and trust me. This is how I fill the gap of my loneliness &#8211; by work, studies, communication with friends and close people. I am also a very calm person who is not easy to infuriate. I can get angry at outrageous injustice, ignorance and stupidity. I also like to spend time over an interesting book or listening to pleasant music.<br />
You say that for some reasons you can&#8217;t find your second half. I will tell you that similarities get attracted to each other. I believe in this. Having turned to the agency we have broadened our opportunities and have given an opportunity to the lucky chance. Everything will be fine. I am sure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In my next letter I will tell you about my city and will attach the pictures. Just write to me. I will be looking forward to hearing from you. I am glad that the distance does not scare you away. And although we are so far away from each other, our thoughts, senses, desires and feelings are so similar and close.  Agencies were created for people, who really are very busy, who do not squander their gifts on trifles and value time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sincerely,<br />
Anna</p>
<p> <br />
<span />Now imagine guys – you wake up one morning, check your email and you get a letter like this!  I am not including her profile here because I want to protect the opportunity for them both to focus on getting to know each other – but trust me – you’d love to write her.  She’s very shapely, very lovely!  John helped himself a lot by writing a letter that sounds very natural, very confident but also a little risky in mentioning that at 55, he has no real idea how he has failed to meet the right person.  Anna responds in kind – she’s lonely but not desperate.  Yet she realizes at some point she will need to move beyond the unfortunate tragedy that took her husband away and reach out for love once more –and she tells that to John so beautifully.  These are real letters!  Written only this week!  His first to her, her first to him – and this is a GREAT start to what will no doubt be a very rewarding correspondence.</p>
<p> <br />
I am sharing this with you to show you the possibilities both in what you can expect in correspondence and how quickly, with a little honest effort, YOU can find some spectacular, lonely person who would love to come home after a hard day of work, turn on her computer to check email and see she has been discovered by a nice man like you!<br />
<span />“Just write me.” She says.  Real people, real discovery – it happens so often in this amazing process.  Be a part of it! </p>
<p> </p>
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		<title>Yet Another Good Reason To Get On That Plane And Go!</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/05/yet-another-good-reason-to-get-on-that-plane-and-go/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2009/01/05/yet-another-good-reason-to-get-on-that-plane-and-go/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Jan 2009 23:36:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Live Calls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Traveling to Meet HER]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[S NOVIM GODIM EVERYONE!
                2008 passed about as quickly as a year can for us.  I am amazed that 2009 is here already.  Like last year I have a list of must-do’s for the next 12 months –and maintaining this blog and site is right up there.  As many of you know, I have a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">S NOVIM GODIM EVERYONE!</font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                2008 passed about as quickly as a year can for us.  I am amazed that 2009 is here already.  Like last year I have a list of must-do’s for the next 12 months –and maintaining this blog and site is right up there.  As many of you know, I have a very specific purpose for being here, as outlined in my Mission Statement.  That purpose is to empower as many good men and women in the foreign bride search to find one another, fall in love, get married and live together happily fulfilled.  To that end, I do an awful lot to correct the dominant misperceptions we men and women have about each other in order to give you the knowledge and courage to take the shortest possible path to that life-defining love that awaits you.   I want to help as many guys meet as many foreign ladies as humanly possible this year – so let’s get started on the first entry of 09.  I am committed to updating this weekly with an important message for all you serious foreign-bride-finders out there, so be sure to check back for some solid, reliable info that should make this journey easier for you.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                If you have read my book and blogs or listened in on Monday nights* you have heard me warn time and again of the dangers of seeking a foreign bride who is too young or inexperienced to be taken seriously.  I tend to beat the theoretical dead horse on this topic until my readers and listeners are groaning for me to please stop and move on to the next topic.  I do this because too many serious guys are confused by the mixed messages they receive on the age topic from International Marriage Agency web-sites who rely heavily upon fantasy marketing to attract their audience.   We read time and again that foreign ladies don’t mind marrying older gentlemen.  That is definitely true but the question of “how much older” is where the waters get murky.  I am always quick to point out that the hundreds of foreign women I have met or interviewed since 2001 consistently tell me they want to meet a man no more than 15 – 17 years their age, a man from the “same generation” as they often put it.  “Otherwise,” they tell me, “he will not feel secure in our relationship in his later years.  I want him to be secure and not jealous.”  Very mature reasoning, yes?   Yet, as steadfast as foreign women are – especially Eastern European women – on the age difference issue, women in their late 20’s, 30’s and 40’s tend to be more receptive to men over 50 under one condition – and that condition is – <strong>you’ve met in person.<br />
</strong></font></font><font size="3"><font face="Calibri"><strong>                </strong>Guys tell me they sometimes struggle to get women to write them back while trying pre-romance tour correspondence.  Then they go on a tour and meet plenty of women who were more than eager to meet them happy to date them.  So what’s up with that?  Why was it so hard to get responses in writing but no problem at all to find enthusiastic, interested women at the socials?  Everyone’s circumstances are unique, of course but sometimes the answer lies in age perception.  Here’s how it goes.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                Men in Russia and Ukraine have an average life expectancy of 55 – 58 years.  A lot of social factors have an impact here such as poor healthcare, bad habits like drinking and smoking, and perpetual alcoholism.  Keep in mind that due to the relatively low number of English speaking men who visit these foreign countries every year, most foreign ladies are not going to be very exposed to the rather good health of middle-aged men in America as compared to our Russian and Ukrainian counterparts.  The reality is foreign men have a longer health span and are often considerably healthier and more active than the men these women know in their own culture.  But so many foreign ladies will never see that – unless you get your butt on the planer and go show them!  Countless times have I seen a lady whose profile said she wanted only men up to age 40 completely throw that out the window when standing face to face at a social with a handsome, fit  50 something gentleman.  Of course if we remember to send pictures with our correspondence showing our trim physiques and strong countenances that will help us catch their attention.  If we mention our activities like ballroom dancing, jogging, karate or bowling that will help paint the picture of health we occupy but otherwise the ladies will never know our strengths unless we seize the opportunity to catch their eye in person.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                I remember an interpreter who introduced a girlfriend to a tour client – hoping he would take notice of her and ask her out.  The guy asked for the girl’s number and said he would call.  He was 50, she was in her late 20’s.  When he ran into the interpreter a few days later, she asked him if he called her girlfriend as he promised to.  He did not, he told her.  “Why not?  She really liked you!  I’m sure she waited very eagerly for your call?”  “I’m sorry,” he said “but the more I thought about it, the more I felt I was just too old for her.  She’s incredibly beautiful – I can’t imagine she’d really be interested in a guy like me.”  (Ah another splintered self-image &#8211; the product of too much American dating.)  “Well, of course she could be happy with you,” the interpreter said, “don’t be so stupid.”  As it turned out he got a second chance and met someone who really appreciated him.  </font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                I read an article recently that claimed America’s 61 is the new 45, and that men in America are starting to invest significant time and resources to their health and fitness after 40.  One such man – and one of my favorite clients, was a successful commercial construction business owner from Massachusetts who booked himself a 5 city tour in hopes of finding a life-partner after losing his beloved wife of many years.  Tom was 61 at the time, and hadn’t dated since his 20’s.  He was incredibly nervous about the foreign bride process and wanted to go slowly and meet as many ladies as possible before even thinking of getting serious.  He called me virtually every day for the last month prior to his tour departure to cover small, insignificant details.  I could tell he was having serious second-thoughts.  When I met Tom for the first time at JFK on our way to St. Petersburg – I just shook my head and smiled.  “Tom,” I said, “no way are you going to make it through 5 cities on this tour before some girl grabs on to you and just refuses to let go.”  He looked incredible for his age.  He had no idea how successful he would be when he met the ladies in person, but I definitely did.  Later on while still in St. Pete he introduced me to the lovely 33 year old redhead he was completely happy with, and informed me he was taking her with him to all the other cities as a kind of vacation for the two of them.  He couldn’t stop smiling and neither could she.  Yet a lot of ladies might have balked at writing back to a man who probably outlived their father.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                All you over 45 guys still on the fence because you haven’t been getting the kind of reaction to your letters you’d like – don’t read too much into it.  Try to realize that foreign ladies have only the lives right in front of them from which to form opinions about us, kind of the way we have only our American dating experiences to try and understand if lovely foreign ladies could really be happy with us.  It’s natural for us to doubt the women in this process because we have never met nor dated any.  We have only our masochistic “we both care a lot about you and neither one of us cares a lot about me” American dating experiences to convince us a gorgeous younger girl could even consider us as a serious life-partner.  That’s not gonna build a whole lot of confidence in us that we can succeed in the foreign bride search.  Yet those of us who do break the mold, take the risks and get ourselves face to face with these exciting, sincere ladies – will see the excited smiles on the faces of women who not only like us personally but are attracted to us for all the typical reasons.  We are strong, self-assured, sober, productive, healthy, happy and monogamous.  You disserve to be discovered and loved for who you are.  Get on the plane and go!  </font></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3" /></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">*Join me on Monday nights for a telephone conference around the foreign bride search you will not soon forget!  This is free – only normal long distance charges apply!  Dial (404) 920-6610 and when prompted enter conference code 935905#.  You can listen in or press *1 to join the conversation!  Get your questions answered!</font></p>
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		<title>Will She Become &#8220;Americanized?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/12/03/will-she-become-americanized/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/12/03/will-she-become-americanized/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:34:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How Do I Know What to Realistically Expect in a Foreign]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[

         
       My friend Kevin from Ohio posed a familiar question last night during our weekly A Foreign Affair  -  Sponsored  conference call:  “If I were to marry a foreign bride, and she would obviously relocate here to live with me, will she eventually become “Americanized” to the point where she loses interest in me or change [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p align="center"><font face="Calibri" size="3" /></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Calibri" size="3" /></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Calibri" size="3"> <img id="image74" style="width: 466px; height: 250px" height="250" alt="dreamstime_223835[1] russian tradition girl.JPG" src="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dreamstime_223835[1]%20russian%20tradition%20girl.JPG" width="466" /></font><font face="Calibri" size="3">       </font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3">      </font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"> My friend Kevin from Ohio posed a familiar question last night during our weekly A Foreign Affair  -  Sponsored  conference call:  “If I were to marry a foreign bride, and she would obviously relocate here to live with me, will she eventually become “Americanized” to the point where she loses interest in me or change so much that I lose interest in her?”  I love this question because it speaks to the subconscious reasons we doubt everything good we read about women in the foreign bride search.  Those doubts and the inherent distrust of foreign women’s true motives for finding a husband abroad are deeply rooted in – of all things – our experiences with women thus far.  Let me explain…</font></font></font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">              </font></font></font></font></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">         Have you mentioned your interest in the foreign bride search to your friends, family or coworkers?  Have you told anyone you’ve visited websites like </font></font><a href="http://www.loveme.com/"><font face="Calibri" color="#800080" size="3">www.loveme.com</font></a><font face="Calibri" size="3"> and have been encouraged by what you’ve read or seen?  It’s only human nature to reach out to those closest to you for support and encouragement for an endeavor so serious and potentially life-defining, right?  If you have ventured to reveal your growing enthusiasm for the foreign bride search to anyone not directly involved in it – how did that go?  Most men immediately regret opening their mouths to share what they’ve heard due to the overwhelmingly negative reaction we get from even our closest people.  “What are you, brain-dead?” they say.  “Have you lost your mind?  WHY would you do that?  Haven’t you heard the news stories about all the women who come here and scam guys out of money or who take off and leave the guy after they get here?  These women are just after citizenship.  They’ll come here, get <strong>Americanized,</strong> and take all your money and leave. For God’s sake, DON’T do that!” </font></font></font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3" /></font></font><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Calibri" size="3"></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">               Yup.  That’s what I thought.  But honestly I bet you’ll find the harshest reaction to the whole foreign life-partner idea will come from American women who never see the self-convicting irony in accusing foreign girls of becoming “Americanized.”  We always criticize in others that which we dislike so much about ourselves, some wise person once observed.</font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">              Well the first good news is – THEY’RE WRONG!!  Well meaning Americans love talking out of their hind-ends on topics we really know little about. Our stuck-up American paradigm says all foreign people who are not US want to be US and will do anything – including the foreign bride thing – to become one of US.  That paradigm is flawed.  There is nothing to support that even a significant number of foreign women who come here to marry their American husbands want anything but love, marriage and the family that comes with.  The second good news is – foreign women who come here to marry generally don’t become “Americanized,” rather they stay true to their core values and grow to deeply love and appreciate the men who saved them from a life of loneliness.</font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">               Rather than talk about the discouraging opinions of less informed people, let’s talk instead about our reaction – <em>to the reactions of others! </em> What happens when we allow ourselves to be humbly brought back to “reality” by those silly people who think all foreign women are desperate little urchins trying to scam us.  What happens is – we believe them, right?  “Of course,” we think, “why am I so stupid.  What a dumb idea.  Even if she does come here for love and all the right reasons, she’ll eventually go out and meet other women at work or through friends.  She’ll start thinking like they do and wanting the same things they want.  She’ll eventually see me they way American women do and become unhappy – then what?!”  When you eventually hear that little devil standing on your shoulder and poking his fork into your happily-ever-after bubble, whispering in your ear that all your dreams of love are stupid, that you’re a fool for even considering the search for international love, I want you to do one thing:  remember what a nice, disserving, loving guy you are and kick his little ass!  Then STOP LISTENING to anyone who doesn’t get behind you 100%.</font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">              Haven’t we everyday men been trained to believe that beautiful, intelligent women don’t fall in love with us?  Haven’t we been told or haven’t we been made painfully aware that very desirable women don’t do relationships with US unless they’re after something we pretend not to be aware of?  What are those mocking voices saying to us about our eligibility for such beautiful foreign ladies?  That we average Joes don’t qualify for THAT kind of girl?  We don’t have enough money, or aren’t handsome enough to disserve REAL love from a truly BEAUTIFUL woman?   That by nature such a pursuit will surely conclude with our humiliation in some kind of scam?  What our friends and coworkers are trying to tell us is no less what our society believes as a whole – beauty is a commodity to be enjoyed by the wealthy and gorgeous.  </font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">The rest of us are bottom feeders, right?</font></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">               WHY couldn’t a foreign girl fall in love with you for all the RIGHT reasons?  Seriously – answer this question for yourself right now!  You’re a NICE guy.  Your wife will always be sure you LOVE her.  Your children will never witness you disrespecting their mother.  Your home will be HAPPY and warm.  You may not ever be rich but you can provide a STEADY and predictable lifestyle.  You will RESPECT her.  You will NURTURE her dreams.  You will be FAITHFUL and SURE – qualities many foreign women struggle to find in their men.  You will provide the kind of strong foundation for love and family that foreign women desire so deeply they will relocate and completely redefine their lives for such a prize.  You will dedicate your life to her!  Of course you disserve THAT kind of love!  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!  Some of the world’s most beautiful and intelligent women are treated so badly by men in their culture they never develop the sense of righteous entitlement so many American women have.  All they want is a loving guy dependable enough for them to build their lives around and the more sacrifice they have to make in order to find him – the more true to him they will be in the long run. </font></font></p>
<p align="center">               Foreign women don’t become <em>Americanized.</em>  You won&#8217;t see many foreign women wearing their slippers and pajamas to the mall.  They&#8217;re not likely to declare, as an ex-girlfriend of mine once did, that they &#8220;don&#8217;t want to live in a small house just to be able to say they have love.&#8221;  They won&#8217;t sleep with some other guy just to hurt you when you when you somehow don&#8217;t meet their expectations.  Sound familiar, guys?  You bet it does!  Foreign women will seek out other foreign women here for friendship and social networking.  They will not be able to identify with or understand the actions and motives of American women and won’t feel obligated to even try.  Your girl’s core values will not fail you because you have earned her love, focus and commitment.  Beauty is not the commodity in other countries that it can be here.  Good character and values are! </p>
<p align="center">                  Go and find the love you should have from an alluring girl with a charming accent.  And learn to edit out the well-meaning but completely uninformed opinions of those who have settled for less than the real and soulful love we were all meant</p>
<p align="center"> </p>
<p></font></font> </p>
<p></font></p>
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		<title>Russian Women Want Us Back</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:38:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Live Calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
   
I must admit, I’m in a state of shock.
                I am stunned to learn that after 13 years of romance tours to Russia – this month will mark the LAST A Foreign Affair departure to St. Petersburg, the city where all Romance Tours began in the mid 90’s.  Not only is AFA chopping St. Pete [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"><a title="girl kneeling in snow.JPG" href="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/girl%20kneeling%20in%20snow.JPG" /></font></p>
<p> <a id="p70" title="girl kneeling in snow.JPG" href="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/11/25/russian-women-want-us-back/girl-kneeling-in-snowjpg/" rel="attachment"><img id="image70" style="width: 295px; height: 255px" height="255" alt="girl kneeling in snow.JPG" src="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/girl%20kneeling%20in%20snow.JPG" width="295" /></a> <font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">I must admit, I’m in a state of shock.</font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                I am stunned to learn that after 13 years of romance tours to Russia – this month will mark the LAST A Foreign Affair departure to St. Petersburg, the city where all Romance Tours began in the mid 90’s.  Not only is AFA chopping St. Pete from its 2009 Tour Schedule, but the few competitors out there still doing Romance Tours are following suit.  There will be NO organized group Romance Tours to St. Pete- or Russia &#8211; in 2009 – by anyone!  Wow!!  12 million more women than men and NO ROMANCE TOURS TO MEET THEM!!</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                <strong>Wow!!<br />
</strong></font></font><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                That’s not to say the overall Tour Schedule isn’t offering other excellent destinations for finding <strong>HER.</strong>  Give credit to A Foreign Affair for developing other cities in countries where foreign guys are every bit as wanted as in the FSU.  An ability to adapt in changing times is what keeps most businesses in the game.   In fact, the 2009 AFA Tour Schedule is as diverse as it has ever been and includes established favorites like Odessa, Ukraine, Lima, Peru, Medellin, Colombia and Davao City, Philippines.   Those are all terrific places to find an exciting life-partner.  But having been to St. Petersburg 5 times, the first of which introduced me to my Victoria in 2001, I’m saddened to see the lack of interest in what has thus far been the largest and most promising city in the foreign bride search.  I can’t help but feel a sense of loss for the countless ladies I have met or interviewed from St. Pete recently – whose chances of meeting someone will drop dramatically with no Romance Tours in sight.  It’s amazing to think of how just a few years ago I stood in those St. Pete socials, marveling at all the women in attendance, and commenting that after 10 years it amazed me how many women still came to this process.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                So, what happened?  How did St. Pete – once the defacto king of Romance Tour destinations for all major International Marriage Agencies – become relegated to the role of least desirable location? More importantly, how did this happen in a matter of just a few recent years?  And why is looking at Russia’s loss of popularity on the foreign bride front even significant when there are so many other great places to realize the dream of finding foreign love?  I think popular misconceptions around St. Pete – as summarized in foreign bride forums all over the internet – could eventually happen to any city on any Romance Tour schedule. I think it’s important to point them out, those misunderstandings, and bring respectability back to the “Venice of the North” for the sake of all those lonely foreign ladies still waiting for YOU to come and find them.  What happened to St. Petersburg speaks to the practices and priorities of many International Marriage Agencies – and we as consumers should be aware.  So, allow me…</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                I could write that the cost of a Russian visa – nearly $250 – is a deterrent for most guys already shelling out an average of $4000 in Romance Tour fees.  I am sure that has been a minor reason men have turned more toward countries like Ukraine, where no visa for travel is required of Americans.  I could say the recent conflict in Georgia and related bad press events have soured most men’s impressions of Russia overall.  Certainly, the development of foreign bride related enterprises in Latin America and Asia have drawn some of the crowd away from the FSU, especially Latin America where tour costs might be a third less than Russia.  I could give credit to the many men who have returned from Russia without a 21 year old Victoria’s Secret wannabe in tow – men who have written from here to kingdom come that St. Pete has hosted too many tours and is now sufficiently “picked-over.”  (This is a joke, of course – it’s virtually impossible to “pick over” any large city in the foreign bride search.  Add up all the profiles of all agencies for women in St. Pete and you wouldn’t even have 1% of the population!)  Probably all of these have contributed somewhat to St. Pete’s dwindling reputation. </font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                But take a look at what’s happened in the Odessa, Ukraine region in the past few years.  IMA’s are receiving more and more profiles from scantily clad young girls – really beautiful and really young girls – and not just from Odessa but the southern part of Ukraine in general, Mariupol, Kherson, Nikolaev etc.  God knows, the FSU is bursting at the seams with millions of such irresistible girls.  During all my years of counseling men in the foreign bride search, I have seen countless guys find, court, date, fall in love with and file a fiancée visa for these “crème de la crèmes” only to be disappointed in the end when girls changed their minds and didn’t come.  The younger and more revealing the girl and her profile, the less likely she was to follow through on relocation in the end, it seemed.  Yet hundreds of men whose focus led them to late 20-something or 30-something ladies whose profiles featured less revealing pictures were able to complete the process with a happy bride in the end.  So, where do hundreds of scantily clad profiles of model-type girls come from?  From modeling agencies, of course.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                For some reason the vast majority of model wannabe profiles have come from Ukraine, not Russia, stoking red hot attention for cities like Odessa while gradually drying out focus on Russia overall.  Guys read all the pertinent generalizations about foreign women struggling to meet family-oriented men and we apply that info ONLY to the most perfect ladies profiles.  I get emails every week from men asking why the girl they are writing to or calling isn’t writing or calling back.  I take a look at her profile and sure enough … I then write back and say “Sorry, friend, but honestly she’s probably buried in emails from the hundreds of men who ONLY write to the model wannabes.  Try someone who’s trying to find a husband not trying to land a swimsuit gig.”  And then I remember all the women in Russia who are upset with me after doing live interviews where no one out of 50 guys listening and participating wrote to them afterwards.  I must admit – I am at a loss to explain that.  MEN LOVE FANTASY!!!!!  </font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                12 million more women than men – think about the implications of that, guys!  Considering the whole foreign bride phenomenon started in Russia in the mid 90’s – and is now dwindling down to smoke and ashes &#8211; could it be that Russian women have caught on to the fantasy marketing practices of most IMA’s and have little faith their efforts to find a sincere foreign man will come to fruition?  Could the good women of Ukraine become one day as skeptical as that, leaving only the most unreliable ladies profiles for men to pursue?  Of course, we’ll probably never know unless we one day discover that there are no more tours to Ukraine and the emphasis moves to Latin America or Asia.  It would be easy to blame the agencies for providing us with all the misleading eye-candy to begin with, thus turning our attention away from those ladies more likely to be accessible to us, but the agencies will typically provide what their male clients are asking for – and too many guys have only perfection in mind when seeking a foreign bride – which is why too many guys fail and too many wonderful ladies go undiscovered every year.  Time for a healthy, productive reality check, boys.  I have met too many truly lovely, down-to-earth ladies who can barely get ANY guy to write to them.  If we are serious about coming out of this with a positive result – serious about finding HER – we can’t afford to overlook the most reliable profiles that give us the best chance in finding that rare, life-defining love.</font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                I know of a previous 40-something AFA tour client – I’ll call him Dave – who’s first Romance Tour to Ukraine was years ago and who still visits Ukraine several times a year in search of the young model wannabe.  Dave recently lamented his inability to get any of the younger girls in bed with him despite all those trips and all that lavish gift-giving.  “I keep running into the ‘I’m saving myself for marriage’ excuse,” he said.  I asked him to consider meeting someone a little older and more mature – like say – 30?!!  And I suggested Russia over Ukraine just because I know there are many, MANY wonderful, serious 30-something single ladies there.  “No, I like coming to Ukraine.  The girls here are more desperate.”  I laughed at this.  The girls in Ukraine are more desperate – but apparently not desperate enough to sleep with Dave.  Yet Dave is just one of many guys who go trekking off to Ukraine each year in search of model wannabes – spending thousands to find that elusive desperate young girl when a real and loving life-partner could have been standing right in front of them countess times.  </font></font></p>
<p><font size="3"><font face="Calibri">                We need to do a better job at promoting the 25 and over ladies of Ukraine.  And we need to make sure we haven’t heard the last of similar women from Russia.  I personally will see to that.  I know all too well what waits for you nice guys out there.  </font></font></p>
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		<title>It&#8217;s Enough to Make You &#8220;Generally Nuts.&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-enough-to-make-you-generally-nuts/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-enough-to-make-you-generally-nuts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:15:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Live Calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-enough-to-make-you-generally-nuts/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[    
 I read an article recently that got my blood boiling.  It’s an old article, dated December 2004, prior to the passing of IMBRA, the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, about the state of the so-called Mail-Order-Bride business.  Overall, the article objectively portrayed the sincere efforts of a few agencies to help good men and women [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Calibri">    <a title="Lithuanian Girl and Lilly of the Valley.JPG" href="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/Lithuanian%20Girl%20and%20Lilly%20of%20the%20Valley.JPG"><img id="image68" style="width: 202px; height: 252px" height="252" alt="Lithuanian Girl and Lilly of the Valley.JPG" src="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/Lithuanian%20Girl%20and%20Lilly%20of%20the%20Valley.JPG" width="202" /></a></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri"> </font></font><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri">I read an article recently that got my blood boiling.  It’s an old article, dated December 2004, prior to the passing of IMBRA, the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, about the state of the so-called Mail-Order-Bride business.  Overall, the article objectively portrayed the sincere efforts of a few agencies to help good men and women find each other through international introductions. A few quotes, however, from some of the so-called experts whose shabby research contributed to Congress to imposing IMBRA on us in the first place got me really – well, pissed off!!  You all know how I love to rant – so here I go again.</font></font><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri"><br />
</font><font face="Calibri">            The quote that got my back up so much was this, referring to the infamous study that Congress commissioned which states that no less than 100% of the men who participate in international marriage through agencies like A Foreign Affair are predators seeking women they can completely control.<br />
</font><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">     &#8220;In general, I found the women were honest and sincere and the men were generally nuts,&#8221; says Robert James Scholes, a retired University of Florida professor and the author of a 1999 study for Congress on mail-order brides. &#8220;I said, &#8216;Screen the guys or get them to a shrink.&#8217; &#8221;</font></span></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri"><br />
<strong><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            Give me a flippin’ break. </font></span></strong></p>
<p></font></span><strong><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri"><br />
</font></span></strong><font face="Calibri"><strong><span lang="EN">            </span></strong><span lang="EN">Although completely right about the vast majority of women in the process being of good character and intention, the conclusion that the majority of men who seek foreign brides are dangerous is, in my opinion, inherently flawed and absurd.  I don’t know where this guy conducted his research but he somehow missed the hundreds of nice guys and their now happy foreign brides I have had the pleasure to know during the past 7 years since my first exposure to the foreign bride experience.  If one man (that being me) alone could have found hundreds of happy couples how could a University of Florida prof conducting research deemed worthy of Congressional action have missed finding any of the thousands of satisfied foreign ladies who have married American?  Perhaps he missed them because he wasn’t looking for them.  Happy foreign brides are not hard to find – they populate forums all over the internet. <br />
</span></font><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            Yes, there are a few jackasses who find there way to this process – the search for a wife abroad.  (They too populate forums all over the internet.)  I have written before that men with obvious personality flaws who have no business looking for a wife anywhere on the planet somehow find their way to International Marriage Agencies.  They enter the process, fail miserably because of their poor judgment and lack of character then come home and write volumes throughout the web on the supposed “truth” about foreign women.  But these men do not represent the vast majority of nice guys, with good family values, who view this as their last hope of finding an equally family-oriented life-partner.  These guys deserve to meet someone and many of them do. <br />
</font></span><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            I realize this study is almost 10 years old, and this is an old quote – but it speaks to a common, current, culture-wide misperception we Americans have towards men who seek out foreign women in search of lasting love.  It’s the same ugly stereotype that causes me to not engage most everyday people I meet in any discussion around how I met my wife, Viktoria.  By my not bringing it up, or dodging their questions when they ask, I don’t have to tell them we met on an AFA romance tour back in 2001.  They don’t have to give me that dirty look I despise so much, and I don’t have to tell them to go to Michaels, buy a rubber stamp kit, arrange letters that spell “limited” and stamp it to their foreheads.  You see – by avoiding the topic altogether in public, I can be seen as the friendly, kind and forbearing man I really am.  </font></span><span lang="EN">J</span><span lang="EN"><br />
</span><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            Look, enough of the bashing of foreign bride finders.  We all know good men and women who struggle for some reason to meet the right person.  We have brothers, friends, neighbors and coworkers about whom we say “Man, if only he/she could just meet someone nice.  He/she has so much to offer.”  If that person we know is YOU, or a lovely foreign lady half way around the world, why shouldn’t there be a way for you two good people to find each other?  And why can’t the rest of the world take its collective head out of its collective ass enough to figure that out? <br />
</font></span><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            One definite reason for the false perception of us guys is the unrealistic, fantasy-oriented appearance of most agency web-sites which choose to display profiles of young, scantily clad women claiming to want to meet men more than 25 years their age.  Noone, this author included, believes these profiles to be authentic yet they attract a number of men hoping to find a sexy pen-pal worthy of Sports Illustrated over the thousands of more realistic possibilities.  Looking at these profiles, and realizing the kind of fantasy appeal they are intended to have, it’s a small wonder the world jumps to conclusions about us.  Yet most serious men who inevitably go on romance tours (at least in my considerable experience) are just everyday guys with good intentions trying to fall in love, get married – and stay married.  Most have no faith they could meet a happy, healthy, monogamous and commitment-minded life-partner here in the states, and that’s why they go abroad.  We’re talking about hundreds and hundreds of guys every year.   HOW DOES ANYONE DOING CREDIBLE RESEARCH ON THE FOREIGN BRIDE TOPIC MISS THAT???!!!<br />
</font></span><span lang="EN"><font face="Calibri">            The more I read the apparently biased and flawed opinions of others about the foreign bride experience – the more I want to do all I can to empower each and every one of you lonely nice guys.  I want to show you how to step beyond the discouraging stereotypes of others, including well meaning friends and family, and into the self-realization of finding that one special life-partner who loves you, appreciates you and is thankful for you every day.  The number of seemingly dangerous men I have met in my brief 7 years in this business I could count on one hand.  The number of true gentlemen I have had the pleasure to know number in the hundreds.  Let’s lock arms guys – let’s hold each other up and empower one another to keep moving forward and forward until we are all face to face with someone we always knew was out there for us.  Someone we were unable to find until now.  Let’s do this because we can and because as true nice guys who want nothing less than love and happiness, we deserve to find them.<br />
</font></span></p>
<p></font><font face="Calibri" /><font face="Calibri"> </p>
<p></font> </p>
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		<title>Tripping On Email</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/22/tripping-on-email/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/22/tripping-on-email/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:35:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Traveling to Meet HER]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/22/tripping-on-email/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
 I received an unexpected email this week from somewhere in Ukraine from “Al,” a 50-something, recently divorced gentleman from the west coast.  Al wrote to me after buying my book to ask advice on his plan to travel to Ukraine last month with his church group, stay in a youth hostel, attend an A Foreign [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img id="image23" style="width: 179px; height: 164px" height="164" alt="1.jpg" src="http://foreignbride101.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/1.jpg" width="179" /> </p>
<p> I received an unexpected email this week from somewhere in Ukraine from “Al,” a 50-something, recently divorced gentleman from the west coast.  Al wrote to me after buying my book to ask advice on his plan to travel to Ukraine last month with his church group, stay in a youth hostel, attend an A Foreign Affair social and hire an interpreter to help him meet ladies.  Al is a nice guy who was serious about finding a wife in the foreign bride experience, though very skeptical about the women and their motives.  At one point, Al asked me why he received a cynical reproach from a girl he had been writing to on his plan to stay at a youth hostel versus renting an apartment or booking a hotel.  I believe Al was also confused about not being offered a chance to stay with his girl once they met in Ukraine.  I explained to Al, who like many of us was operating on a budget, that trying to meet women in Ukraine for the purpose of love and marriage while staying in a youth hostel to save money was probably an uphill climb.  Still I had hoped he would somehow succeed in his venture.  Just about when I was wondering how he was doing &#8211; I got his email:</p>
<p>“Perhaps you remember me.  I have lived now for 5 weeks in Ukraine.   It is nothing  like you said.  I have little knowledge of Russian,  but I have traveled all  over the country.  I have dated at least  ten ladies besides meeting the ones at  the socials.  The men  I met have not found a wife.  The odds are really against  us.  I have learned more by being on my own and hiring and interpreter.   I need  to write a book and up date yours.  It is very difficult  to meet interested  women to marry.  Most women at fatalistic,  live for the moment and think only of  themselves.  One woman  I dated three times had me buy her groceries for her  apartment.   All I got was a kiss.  And she wanted to marry me.  The scams  here  are something.  One agency had men and women writing to  American men deceiving  them in thinking they were writing to a  beautiful woman.  If pravda was told  nobody would come her.   Also the older women do not stay in shape as you  suggested.   The potatoes and bread take their toll.</p>
<p>Have you seen the statistics for successful (Ukrainian)  marriages to American? I now know why. You are , I  believe, a good and helpful  man but you do not understand these people and the Ukrainian  thinking. I  am not mad.  You can believe me or not.  I just  think your book is a  fairy-tale that may have been true 10-12  years ago.”</p>
<p>My heart sank, as it usually does when I receive an email from or talk to a guy who has given up on his search for someone in the foreign bride experience.  Guys give up when they fall in love with the wrong person, get scammed out of money, meet too many “bad women” or invest several years in the search and still come up empty handed.  My heart sinks because I have met hundreds of lovely sincere ladies who want so badly to meet a nice guy &#8211; and the number of men who are ultimately willing to get on a plane and go pale in comparison to the overall numbers of women who join the process.  I am also personally aware of hundreds of guys who have met their wives in Ukraine since I started working in this business 8 years ago, a great many of who I personally helped through the search. </p>
<p>I must admit, there have been a few guys through the years who for whatever reason couldn&#8217;t meet one sincere girl, let alone hundreds.  I have struggled, at times, to figure out exactly what went wrong and continued to go wrong for as long as those few guys were in the search.  But I am looking from the outside in.  A closer look might have revealed a few fatal mistakes that could have included:</p>
<p>- Trying to meet only women who were much younger than they were &#8211; more than 20 years is often not realistic for most guys in this process.  Some guys only want the fantasy in this thing and if they can&#8217;t have a fantasy they have no interest in a very gratifying reality.</p>
<p>- Failing to be aware of the most common foreign-bride scams, i.e., the “I can get a visa to the US but don&#8217;t have the money to pay for it so won&#8217;t you please send me money?” scam.  It&#8217;s not uncommon to meet insincere women in this process just as it is not uncommon for foreign women to meet less than sincere men.  The way to avoid disaster is to recognize the signs and move forward and some guys just fail to do so.  A great deal of my book is dedicated to scams and how to avoid them.</p>
<p>- Having the wrong attitude altogether about women in this experience &#8211; some guys get off the plane in another country expecting every girl to be poor, desperate and dumb and are completely lost when the find otherwise.  I HAVE SEEN THIS PERSONALLY MANY, MANY TIMES.  These are the guys who eventually cry out to all who will listen that ALL foreign women are whores.  I remember a tour client in St. Pete years ago who barged into the AFA office screaming those very words.  He had bought a girl dinner and couldn&#8217;t believe she wouldn&#8217;t  see him for a second date.  I tried to explain that Russian women are a little embarrassed to be seen in public with a man wearing a read leather cowboy hat, but he wouldn&#8217;t hear of it.</p>
<p>The truth is, as I have said many times, the foreign bride experience is NOT or everyone.  I wrote a book, the same book Al claims to have read, in which I went to great lengths to present the realities of this highly rewarding, exciting experience.  Had Al listened to the advice I presented in Chapter 2 &#8211; a section on qualifying yourself for this experience before you spend your money &#8211; he would have possibly decided that traveling to Ukraine with a church group and staying in a youth hostel was hardly the way to convince a woman you were ready to support a wife and family.  Rather than attract the right women, he became a magnet for others.  Al seemed surprised to learn that some agencies based in Ukraine are in fact scams designed to take money from unsuspecting, uninformed men &#8211; MUCH LIKE THE AGENCY I WROTE ABOUT IN MY CHAPTER ON SCAMS.  Al bought food for a girl&#8217;s apartment and said he was disappointed that he only got a kiss.  Not sure what he was expecting there but he apparently glossed over the story of the “Grocery Lady” I cover in Chapter 8 of “Foreign Bride 101.”   Every woman Al has dated has been selfish, disinterested and “fatalistic.”  That doesn&#8217;t sound anything like the hundreds (literally!!) of Ukrainain women I have either met or interviewed over the years. All of the men Al has met have not met their wives.  Not sure how many  “all” is or if he&#8217;s referencing his fellow hostel-mates there but obviously Al&#8217;s experience completely contradicts that of hundreds of men who find true love with healthy, happy, beautiful women every year in Ukraine.  If you&#8217;ve listened to the Live Calls I have done for 6 years with foreign women, 25 of which are currently available to listen to at this web-site, you haven&#8217;t heard “desperate, poor and dumb.”   At this point I am wondering if Al&#8217;s church group took a serious wrong turn, or changed their plans at the last minute and set up camp in Baghdad.</p>
<p>Just for the record, I have seen no statistics on American Ukrainian relationships because there are very few available and even if there were &#8211; I absolutely don&#8217;t care.  American -Ukrainian relationships that I am personally aware of that did not work out failed almost exclusively due to some negligence on the part of the guy &#8211; not the girl.  Such stats, if they were available, wouldn&#8217;t even scratch the surface of the breadth of experiences in the foreign bride search, trust me.  OR READ CHAPTER ONE!  If a near 60% domestic divorce rate isn&#8217;t enough to convince any seriously marriage-minded guy he needs to consider all options in finding his life-partner, I recommend he stay home and date American.  And good luck with that.</p>
<p>I wrote a book on how to use a reputable marriage agency to meet the thousands of incredibly lovely, sincere, marriage-minded, family-oriented women from countries like Russia, Ukraine, Colombia, The Philippines, etc.  I did not write a book that shows guys how to travel to Ukraine on a church group mission (something I would otherwise completely support) hoping to convince Ukrainian women you are financially stable enough for a wife and family.</p>
<p> Recently, while conducting a seminar on international dating in Chicago, a woman from my audience approached to explain she was the fiancee of a former AFA romance tour client and that she had read my book and believed it to be authentic and reliable.  She said it seemed I truly understood foreign women and wrote everything from their perspective.  Galina said she couldn&#8217;t wait for me to write my next one.  (I am not making this up.)</p>
<p>That particular audience was also quite smitten by another lovely foreign lady, Olga, who came with her husband to share their experiences and to encourage guys to get involved.  The guys were thoroughly charmed by her beauty, her accent and her genuine enthusiasm.  “What are you waiting for” she said, “this is your life, your future.  Why aren&#8217;t you on a plane right now?” </p>
<p>Galina and Olga, by the way, are Ukrainian.</p>
<p>Al is a nice guy, I believe, but he is one of literally almost a thousand guys I have known in the foreign bride experience. Looking back at all of those guys I have to agree with one thing Al wrote &#8211; my book is a fairy-tale &#8211; for some!  But certainly not for all, not for most, and not for the guys willing to listen to the advice therein.  Anyone who has purchased “Foreign Bride 101”  knows it is not written to sell romance tours but to reveal the realities of the search to those who will listen, read and heed. Al can write his book, and join the hoards of others who populate the foreign bride forums night after night shouting down anyone with the slightest positive thing to say about foreign women.  He&#8217;ll be in good company.</p>
<p>I told Al, and I meant it, that I hoped things somehow turned around for him before he got back.  It shouldn&#8217;t be so hard, I suppose for nice guys &#8211; even the reality challenged ones, to meet someone.  Then again, one of my goals in writing “Foreign Bride 101” was to thin the herd a little bit and outrightly discourage those bound to fail.  I didn&#8217;t waste one word in writing my book, trust me.  I agonized for months over every answer.  I can&#8217;t argue Al&#8217;s experience, of course, but I am sure a closer look would reveal a few wrong decisions that made all the difference.</p>
<p>Guys, read my book &#8211; and more than read &#8211; listen, REALLY LISTEN to what is written there for you.  I am more passionate about helping good people find each other than anyone else out there.  I want you to have what I have and thousands of others have.</p>
<p>No fairy-tale here, my friend.</p>
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		<title>Why Won&#8217;t She Say &#8220;She Loves Me?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/16/62/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/16/62/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:01:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Administrator</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Getting Serious About HER]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ 
     Another great question I was asked to expand upon last Monday night, from one of our great listeners &#8211; was read to me from right out of my book &#8220;Foreign Bride 101:&#8221;
     &#8220;My foreign bride and I have spent considerable time together, have become intimate and are applying for the fiancee visa together.  Yet, despite all [...]]]></description>
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<p>     Another great question I was asked to expand upon last Monday night, from one of our great listeners &#8211; was read to me from right out of my book &#8220;Foreign Bride 101:&#8221;</p>
<p><em>     &#8220;My foreign bride and I have spent considerable time together, have become intimate and are applying for the fiancee visa together.  Yet, despite all this, she refuses to say she loves me.  She says it&#8217;s too early.  Does this make sense?&#8221;</em></p>
<p>     This question raises an eyebrow from first time readers &#8211; and guys who have yet to meet foreign women.  &#8220;Is that actually possible?  Does that actually happen &#8211; that a foreign girl will go through all the correct motions, the dating, courtship and fiancee visa process and NOT be ready to declare her love to me?&#8221;  The answer, again based on hundreds of couples I have helped through this process &#8211; is YES &#8211; but not often.  Experience has shown that when a foreign woman is hesitant to say she loves her guy but is willing to be intimate, work through the fiancee visa process and eventually relocate to another country &#8211; she probably has her eye on something other than the dream of love you have in mind.  That &#8220;something&#8221;  - would be your wallet.  </p>
<p>     Once again, boys, I am talking about only a handful of guys out of hundreds of others who otherwise encountered no such hesitation on the part of the girl &#8211; because they were good guys who met good girls who demonstarted a healthy love and respect for each other.  But in the event you ever meet  a foreign girl who just cannot give her heart completely ( and give these ladies credit for being honest at least,) you could be headed for disaster once your girl arrives in the US if her expectations are not in line with your reality. </p>
<p>      This kind of hesitation on the part of the lady can be expressed in several ways and certainly before any kind of intimacy occurs.  There was the gentleman who made his way to Odessa to meet a woman he had been writing to for several months.  He had planned to spend three weeks there &#8211; to take his girl on a Black Sea vacation &#8211; romance was definitely in the air.  He asked me about taking a ring.  I advised him to go modest.  (Modest turned out to be $10K.) So he got on the plane, met the girl and everything was fine until she told him within hours of his arrival that &#8220;Oh, by the way &#8211; there&#8217;s not going to be any sex during your visit.&#8221;  CRASH!! </p>
<p>      I am by no means suggesting one can expect sex during any visit with foreign women or on romance tours etc &#8211; again, I am following my basic Christian beliefs here.  But being told upfront that his girl was completely closing herself off to the possibility of falling in love was the complete opposite reaction he was hoping to get when they finally met after weeks of writing.   At one point she doubted he made enough money to support a family.  (His annual income was quite sufficient.) Obviously, once he realized she was not trying to fall in love &#8211; at least not with him &#8211; he moved on.  <em>Lesson learned:  do not travel to any foreign city to visit only one girl.</em>  Plan on meeting at least a few ladies so if one exhibits squirrly behavior or a hesitance to fall in love with you &#8211; you can focus your attention on someone who will be happy to reciprocate.</p>
<p>     Look, most foreign women want to fall in love and give themselves to you completely &#8211; and they want the same from you. A few will be more focused on getting some unsuspecting, lonely guy to send them money and will allow enough coursthip to achieve this.  Fewer still, will be hoping for a lavish lifestyle when they come to America and will pursue marriage to a foreign guy &#8211; not for citizenship &#8211; but for material gain.  This is especially possible when the age difference exceeds 20 years.  Again, and I have said this many times &#8211; these women are easy to spot because they will present &#8220;red-flags&#8221; of warning throughout the early stages of your relationship.  One needs only to recognize red-flags for what they are and act decisively.  </p>
<p>     The real confusion occurs &#8211; and for good reason &#8211; when the ONLY red-flag behavior is her reluctance to say she has fallen in love AFTER intimacy and commitment have been established.  How terribly frustrating it must feel when you believe you&#8217;ve found the once-in-a-lifetime woman you love enough to consider spending your life with, with whom intimacy is powerful and far-reaching, and whom you enjoy and admire and feel such strong attraction to &#8211; only to never  hear those three precious and life-defining words from her lips.  I&#8217;m telling you right now &#8211; if you ever find yourself in that situation &#8211; you must have the brevity to move on because something is seriously not right.  Foreign women want to fall in love &#8211; want to express their love and they know how to do it.  If you wanted to be left begging for affection and burdened by insecurity you don&#8217;t exactly have to leave familiar shores for that &#8211; right?</p>
<p>     I tell guys all the the time &#8211; in order to really succeed in the foreign bride experience you have to be a sincere nice guy, with good old fashioned family values, and a healthy respect for women.  You have to be a bit of a maverick, a risk-taker, (though the risks are marginal if you take the right steps along the way,) a promise-keeper and a bit of an adventurer.  If you are all of these and part of that elusive 3% of guys who actually get their tails on a plane to go and meet some of these rare and lovely women &#8211; you can win the heart of a beautiful, dedicated girl.  If you are all that &#8211; then you should go and have the experience you want to have with no letdowns.  God knows the 15 million surplus women in the former FSU alone, and countless others in Latin American and Asian cities would love to meet someone like you and wouldn&#8217;t hesitate to say they love you when the time is right.  You should not settle for less than the best love experience of your life.  At any point in the journey if you have to beg for consideration and affection &#8211; even well into the fiancee visa period &#8211; you have to have the courage to move on.  NO REALLY GOOD GUY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO WAIT TO HEAR &#8220;I LOVE YOU&#8221; FROM HIS FOREIGN GIRL!  Too many exciting, serious women are waiting for you to find them. </p>
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		<title>What Do Foreign Women Really Expect From Life In America</title>
		<link>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/15/what-do-foreign-women-really-expect-from-life-in-america/</link>
		<comments>http://foreignbride101.com/blog/2008/07/15/what-do-foreign-women-really-expect-from-life-in-america/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:12:28 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Helping Her Adjust]]></category>

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It&#8217;s good to be back!  Been away from my blog for awhile due to some seriuous re-evaluating of just what exactly I am doing here &#8211; and after countless conversations I think Victoria and I have really figured out where we want this site to go.  More on that later&#8230;
  
Some excellent questions from last night&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">It&#8217;s good to be back!  Been away from my blog for awhile due to some seriuous re-evaluating of just what exactly I am doing here &#8211; and after countless conversations I think Victoria and I have really figured out where we want this site to go.  More on that later&#8230;</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">Some excellent questions from last night&#8217;s weekly phone conference around the foreign bride experience&#8230; Thanks to all who participated.   Remember guys &#8211; you can join us for our weekly group discussions to answer all your questions about foreign brides by simply dialing in on Monday nights &#8211; 404-920-6610 and entering 935905#.  If you haven&#8217;t participated yet &#8211; YOU SHOULD!  Great group of guys and lots of good questions.  Remember also we talk live with foreign women every weekend and you can dial in the same way &#8211; write me for specific times and which ladies we&#8217;ll be talking to &#8211; bud@foreignbride101.com.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">My favorite question of the night was <em>&#8220;When foreign women come here to live with their new husbands &#8211; what do they really expect from life in America?&#8221;</em></div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">My answer comes from years of experience with countless couples who have contacted Victoria and I during that very unpredictable period when the girl had just arrived here in America and was adjusting to her new life &#8211; and new family.  What most foreign women want out of life in America is really very simple.  Foreign women want:</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">1. To be truly loved and respected by their man.  That means all the love, respect, consideration, focus, monogamy and attention doesn&#8217;t change once she arrives.  We joke in America about how womens attitudes toward intimacy change after marriage &#8211; foreign women do not want us to be any less romantic and loving after they arrive, nor do they want our attitudes to become selfish and neglectful.  One lady called Victoria to say her fiancee&#8217;s new favorite expression in response to her requests for basic things was &#8220;You can&#8217;t just have everything you want &#8211; you&#8217;re not in Russia anymore.&#8221;  We suggested she hit him upside the head with a frying pan. Cast iron&#8230;</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">Guys often make the mistake of assuming once the girl arrives the hard part is over and it&#8217;s &#8220;all about me time.&#8221; I&#8217;ve mentioned here already how wrong that is.  Certainly your girl came here to love and be loved &#8211; and you will get your share of her attention and emotional surrender once she has had time to adjust &#8211; but it&#8217;s very important to be as loving,  understanding and compromising as possible in those first few months while she transitions to her new life here.  Guys often completely underestimate how difficult daily tasks are for foreign ladies trying to create their new lives here.  You have to be the same encouraging, supporting and tirelessly patient man she knew in courtship.  Again guys &#8211; the rewards will be endless.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">2. To live on a level no less than they lived in their homeland.  Here is another mistake we men sometimes make &#8211; assuming that having love alone is enough to make a foreign girl happy.  NOW &#8211; DON&#8217;T READ TOO MUCH INTO THAT!  I&#8217;m not saying that a foreign lady&#8217;s decision to come here is as much about material gain as it is about love.  I&#8217;ve seen nothing to indicate that is true in most cases I am familiar with, despite all you may read to the contrary.  Guys who don&#8217;t happen to have Bill Gates money or who live modestly can definitely win the heart of a lovely foreign lady who will come here to live with them for all the right reasons BUT &#8211; keep in mind that the biggest misperception we have about women in this process is they are poor and destitute and living on any level in America is a step up from where they are.  Not true, my friend.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">Most foreign women work, earn money, save a little, and can buy basic things as they need them.  They will pay all their monthly bills, go to a cafe or a museum on the weekends and take an occasional vacation with their family and friends.  When these same women come to America with no status until forms are filed and fees are paid (by you the fiancee petitioner,) they don&#8217;t have the legal ability to do much of anything.  They can&#8217;t work right away, or drive a car, open a bank account etc.  I will tell you right now &#8211; this frustrates the heck out of most foreign women.  I think alot of guys develop some kind of paranoia about being duped in a visa scam once their girl begins to inquire almost daily &#8211; &#8220;When will we send our documents in?  When can I get a work permit?  How can I get a car?&#8221;  And because we, in all our lunkheadedness, fail to see how we have compromised our foreign lady&#8217;s world we get angry and defensive when our girl wants things that are typical and available in her previous life. Foreign women will want to work, drive, open a bank account, have a credit card, (even small guaranteed one is fine,) buy basic things when they need them, take advantage of a sale or two at Target or Kohls.  Guys &#8211; be honest with yourselves &#8211; if you live paycheck to paycheck (been there done that so I know what I&#8217;m talking about,) and will not be able to afford to move your lady along through the adjustment of status phase or allow her access to money she can spend on miscellaneous things as she sees fit until she can earn her own &#8211; you&#8217;re asking for a world of misunderstanding and hurt.  Be flexible and be prepared.  DO NOT assume that just because your girl is from another culture she&#8217;ll have no needs or wishes or goals.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center" align="left">Some of our favorite couples include women who came here  to marry a guy who had lost his job or was self-employed but weathering a rough period. The women typically stand by their guy and wait for better times but you have to have a plan that is realistic and doable.  One gentleman, a trucker by trade,  asked me recently if a foreign girl woud mind living out of a semi for awhile, seeing the country until they get their feet under them financially.  My answer was simple &#8211; &#8220;If the girl is doing that in her country now, then no problem.  If not &#8211; then better have a place for her to call home.&#8221;  In other words &#8211; look at your fiancees life in her country &#8211; that is your bottom line.  This is where you must begin.  I promise you most foreign women do not expect the moon, but do want the basic security and status they had in their world before you met.  Understanding this is key to winning her heart.</div>
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